I KNOW something is not right with me, but I feel so stuck in this darkness that I don't have the energy to make that call to the doctor for an appointment and fight back again. It pains me to even wake up every morning. I no longer look forward to going into the office every day. Instead I have to force myself to get up and get ready in the morning to go help other people when I can't even help myself. I literally stayed in my bed ALL DAY yesterday and slept for a good portion of it. I just want to be left alone. I HATE feeling this way and it's exhausting having to put on a fake "I'm Great" face when all I want to do is be alone with my darkness. It's getting worse as the weeks go by and I don't want to go back to that again, but I'm on my way back anyway and I don't know if I have the strength to fight AGAIN. I'm so tired of having to fight to feel okay with me. Vent over, thanks for listening.