HomeDawg,
you have been thru so much and esp in such a short time. You need to find a way (a safe way) to release all of what you are feeling, and coz you are so young you will come away from all of this a whole lot stronger with the right help and support, but if you continue the SI you will also end up scarred for life physically. I know that SI is often something that can't be stopped just by 'wanting to'- I have a prob where I dissociate and don't even realise I have done anything (take this morning for e.g.:- I discovered a new scar which must have been there for nearly a week and I had not even noticed up til now...). It is about finding safe alternatives. I really like reading the stickys in this forum, esp about reasons not to. I am someone who is totally embarrassed by each and every scar, and I look so hard for clothes to hide them. I would love to stop hurting myself in this way but the triggers are more than I can fight at times. PLEASE find someone who you can talk this over with, and all the stuff that has been going on in your life. As I said to you in chat recently altho you are young you are so mature; please do this for you and to help get yourself on a better track and well.
(((((homedawg)))))