I'm so sorry about these painful memories. Maybe crying in T, with her support and guidance, will allow you to have a different, more positive experience with tears? This is where I am, too. I realized that my blockage is bc when I cried in front of my parents they never comforted me. The one time that I really lost it with a T, she didn't either and I ended up feeling most painfully alone and put up a shield against crying in front of parents or parent figures. I hope you have an OK day and a good session on Weds.