I hope Amy, Tomi, and Sky all 3 are able to see this reply. You guys have some excellent testimony and have written some wonderful text. I just have a difficult time keeping up when it gets long. But first Sky; I am an angry person, not angry with God. God has spoken to me directly, and I have a complete understanding of how and why 'sins of the father' and generational curses occur, and exactly why abuse occurred to me. I have also been given the message about forgivness and mercy and how to avoid bitterness and resentment.
If I am angry with anyone, I am angry as hl with the church and it's self righteous biggotted leaders. {and I am not even going to mention the theraputic proffession who added imense abuse as well} And I meant every word in my example of how the leaderships age/gender bias is abonimable. Further evidence of sins of the father. I hope my message was recieved and not misunderstood. I believe I might have been strong with my words, and came across confrontational, and for that I am truly sorry.{ I think Sky wrote that, but I appologize to anybody I might have offended. I cannot keep everybody straight.} The frustration from the theraputic community alone, has left me feeling a need to be confrontational right now.
I know some of the exact feelings Amy has. I can't exactly describe them, but I know them. I have been left thinking some of the exact same thoughts about smaller groups who do not live behind a shroud of religion, and it's shameful we can't belong to the big body of Christ and go to church. Sorry Amy, but I am going to steal your term 'denial factory'. {I hate to plagerize, but it fits so well !}
And finally for Tomi; I have only recently found someone willing to let me address sexual abuse in a theraputic setting. And sadly, I have the best insurance coverage in the state of Tennessee. It has been 7 years and 2 of them with one counselor who finally allowed herself to became aware I had been sexualized and had enough intellegence to think that was a 'significant issue' and should 'possibly' be addressed. But where?
I will share the following in an effort to allow you to understand why I might be viewed as confrontational.
The first time I entered counseling I was 16 and the 'therapist' of that day thought sexual surrogatism was the clinical answer to all my insecurities and inability to adjust socially.
I was publicly raped in a massage parlor clearly visible from Second Avenue N. in downtown Nashville. It is at the site of where the outside tables sit at wild horse saloon today.
There is help somewhere? I have never been allowed to be uncomfortable having to go downtown. Sorry if I sound angry or confrontational to anyone, but I refer back to my original posting.
Why?
Thanx folks, you have added some great testimony.
Tommy