|
Jun 11, 2012, 09:13 AM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 356
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bathony
I know you have benevolent intent but I have my signature for a reason! I once written down all my therapy failures for The Samaritans but they forgot about me, surely more important people are more important. Anyway, the list:
1 psychologist whom I was seeing when I was still sexually abused and she didn't notice.
1 psychologist who wanted me to look into his eyes all the time, even when I was telling him horrible stuff, 'Hey, my eyes are here!'- you don't say?
1 psychologist who told me nobody wants to listen to me and everybody ignores me, I'm lazy and expect a miracle, I want to remain miserable.
1 psychiatrist who said she wouldn't prescirbe me a mild antidepressant because it would be a waste of a medication and that she woulnd't help me.
1 psychiatrist who called me a maniuplative egoist and it took him a 10 min or so to decide I'm not depresssed
1 psychologist who blamed me for everything and said that I can't do anything right.
1 psychologist who deceived me, trivialised my pain, made fun of me, took the side of the people who hurt me, was really harsh about my 'everyone's against me' thing- I have a long list of examples, why couldn't she just believe me? I can prove that everybody is against me but no, she didn't listened because I'm insane.
Of these brilliant people, 1 psychologist and 1 psychiatrist denied my right to have problems because 'I'm young and pretty'. And let's not forget the most incredible way they 'treatd' me in mental hospital. That's a laugh, 'treated'.
Yeah, yeah, now you say I must have misunderstood them and that eveybody wants to help me. I wish that was true.
|
I am sorry if I have triggered you by posting things I should have been more thoughtful about. I am sorry you have had bad experiences that have just added to your distress. I really I would not know either way to tell the truth if you misunderstood them or actually they were people who should not have been working in that profession.... Heck at this point you could just accuse me of agreeing with you to be kind and polite and make myself look kind and not argumentative... Even so you will or anyone else will not really know or can tell what my emotions and intent behind my comments are about or where there coming from so to speak.
This can be the same with our own minds, thoughts, feelings sometimes we react but do we know exactly why or the reason. Sometimes it's the questioning that adds to these strange feelings and emotions. You said so yourself you can accept how you feel about yourself? Well then what’s stopping you from being your own help and inner soother? Not everyone is suited to therapy like you listed. Although I am not to say that anyone should just walk out of therapy they are in, sometimes you have to finish something to be able to make your mind up. Even then you may still change your opinion at a later date and time in your life. Sometimes we need therapy to bounce back off so to speak. Personally certain types of therapy that makes me think and analyse patterns about the past just drives me mad and makes me feel ill because it just asking me to keep going over what I know and really all it shows me is evidence to strangely back up what I am trying to change and need help with in ultimately in a unhelpful way.
Sorry if I have trigger you but I will just say this and then leave it at that. Only not to cause you more hurt or upset and this will not be because your were wrong but actually because I am being the wrong one here because I should have worded or thought through things more in what I have posted to you.
You may want to look into mindfulness, I can't quite get it personally. Like most things it takes ages apparently to get or notice an effect on yourself. It’s basically being aware of thoughts and feelings that come into your body and mind, just notice them but the idea is not to be judgement about what you think and feel.
EG someone walking down the street, they then see group of people chatting and laughing, the feeling this person then gets is heart beating fast and they start to feel tingling in their body,
Judgmental way is great I am hopeless because I react like this, those people will hate me and make fun of because of how hopeless I am, this then makes that feeling and thoughts stronger and more real, Resulting in that person believing those comments and actually making that personal react in a worse way.
The more mindful way is for that person to say something like ok my hearts beating and I'm getting this feeling again, it's because there’s a group of people over there and I am getting anxious. I am aware of this and notice this but now I need to focus back on what I was doing, where I was going or other things happening around me sounds, smells, things you see to distract your mind from following a cycle of thinking patterns. This way you don't then add onto that hurtful feeling by actually just being another voice of the hurtful thoughts and feelings.
Again please remember I am just another person who doesn’t really have a clue themselves. I hope you can be your own best friend and work on changing yourself how you would like and when you want to or are personally ready to. So that you can be at ease and more accepting of yourself in the way you do deserve. Which is with kindness and compassions as well as understanding of yourself but not being the judge that punishes themselves. Wish you all the best
|