Hello & Welcome, Ayakorad!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ayakorad
i have self-harmed for the past three years. ...
i'm afraid of myself, i feel like once i'm triggered i'm really going to do it.
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Yes, your desire for help is justified. Is there a trusted someone in your life, at your school perhaps, to whom you could tell everything you've posted above -- someone who would read a copy of your post and take it seriously?
Possible immediate resources:
Please keep posting, Ayakorad.
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.