On the flipside you can also be alone and not be lonely. I used to really value my alone time. I liked being with myself. I spent a lot of time in "group" functions and I really valued my friends but sometimes I would specifically set aside time to be alone. I made a habit of spending every thanksgiving alone for instance, it was my quite holiday weekend, the other holidays I would spend throwing parties or what.

And I often truly believed that my ability to be alone was evidence that I "liked myself" and didn't need other people to give me fulfullment. And I think that is why I always had a lot of friends (after all if you don't like yourself how can you expect other people to like you?)

so it is a very very drastic change to where I am now... alone AND lonely... lonely even in groups just like you describe (and that makes it worse because I come home alone and just think about what I've lost more) and also really not liking myself... not exactly true, I do like the person that I am but I do not like my behavior or attitude or personality while I am under the influence of the depression, and that is of course at the root of a ton of isolation which only makes it worse.



-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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