Coming out of denial is so difficult. The only reason we're in denial in the first place is because the stuff is so incredibly painful that we can't face it. So obviously, when we finally manage to bring this stuff to the surface and actually deal with it, it's going to hurt like hell. But the good part is that when you get through all this crap, you won't have anything to be in denial about anymore. Sorry you have to deal with all this ......