Well I went to my appointment today, in which I had to wait two month for. I thought I would at least feel a little better after taking to someone. Instead I spend time spending time filling out yes or no drug and alcohol questionaires. Then I request a male therapist and am told I will have to wait another month before I can see him. After that I was called in by a nurse practioner who was useless too, she kept tell me things will get better. She also informed that she would be changing my meds in the future, buy I have news for her, I will stay with my primary doctor in prescribing meds. They and converse with him about their suggestions. How am I going to survive a whole month without help. I will have to t ake advantage of my exhusband when he is here and decide if I will end my pain. I see no hope, all I can see is one long dark tunnel. You know I struggled with depression most of life and can never say I have been truly happy, my daughter told me that this weekend she said "mom you are never happy" This darkness although lightings at times is always painful, maybe it is time for me to go. I don't know I will try to stick with it a bit longer..thanks for listening