I was trying to think what to say because, during my pregnancy last year my husband emotionally abandoned me for the last four months of it. It was horrible. Granted, things are better now, although still somewhat rocky, and although he didn't leave physically, he was gone mentally. He still doesn't believe that's the case, and I'm still struggling with the after effects of it. I feel like I've suffered a trauma. I've suffered trauma twice before, once when my mom died and then six years ago when I lost my oldest son in a divorce and didn't see him for a year. I feel the same now as I did those times.

We planned the baby. He actually was the one who said "let's have another." We were happy and excited, and then one day... I was alone. I often would sit thinking "what have I done?" I was not excited to have the baby any more. I didn't feel connected to him like I remembered with my two older boys. I procrastinated on everything, like picking out names. I wasn't excited to look at baby clothes and other things like the first two times. I apologized to the baby all the time to be making it for a world where the people who love you just abandon you.... And I was afraid he was going to be a sad baby.

Anyway... when he was born, it was like a switch in my brain flipped. He is the happiest person I have ever met. Even in the middle of a temper fit he will stop to smile. Once when I was crying I looked at him and he just smiled at me like, "Hey, mommy, it's okay." I feel really close to him and love him and am bonded with him just fine. I call him my sunshine baby, because he brought me some sunshine in the dark winter.

I am not sure what you should do, but, that is my experience. I'm very sorry this happened to you.