My T and I were discussing my fears about losing my mother in law and I mentioned how difficult it would be to lose someone who really cares about me and makes me feel loved. T said, "who have you lost who really cared about you and made you feel that way." I started to say my grandparents, and T interrupted me to point out the ways in which my grandparents had never really been there for me or cared. Started to say my dad, and then T stopped me again and said, "you had no one. You had no one who really cared about you and made you feel protected and loved growing up. No one." Harsh, T. Harsh but true and why are you making me face that right this minute? His point was that, of course I'm terrified of losing my mother in law, and if I stop denying how horrible my childhood was, that terror will make sense, and I won't feel like such a weirdo about it.

Denial is easier. Reality helps us stop having distorted thoughts about ourselves.