Your mother sounds very like my stepmother was; I left home (when I was 22) because she called me "stupid" one time too many; I had not made the Good Seasons packaged salad dressing correctly, had put the oil in before the vinegar or vinegar before the oil, whatever the "opposite" is. Now it is a little funny how dramatic we made it, as if it mattered which way it was made?

I'm 61 now and if I could do it all over, I think I would try to be a little more "forgiving" and try to see the humorous in situations instead of taking them as seriously as I did. I'm not stupid and have never thought I was and was in no danger of thinking that, I mostly just had my feelings hurt because she called me a name; if you think about it, it's very like little kids where one kid is slightly stronger or smarter in a mean way, etc. That incident actually ended up a bit helpful to me because I "quit" and stormed off up the stairs to my room and she called me back but I did not come; all the time in my life before I had been afraid of her anger but I was so angry and unhappy that I didn't "care" this time and the realization that I was bigger than she was physically, and younger, etc., there were a lot of old things between us that I was still paying attention to, even though 10-15 years had passed and situations had changed; I was locked into the habitual way of relating so hadn't noticed the changing situations!

That's "learned helplessness," http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/lh.htm