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Rhapsody said:
Is there any one out there that can help me or give me straight forward advice on how they solved this issue with in themselves and with in their marriage? - for while I know all the why and how's.... I am lost in the healing of self.

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There is no mathematical solution for the answer you want.
You want us to fill in your blanks to the formula of achieving trust or healing (happiness).

_________ + _________ = happiness

Everyone is unique. We can't fill in your blanks. I'm not sure a formula even exists for happiness. If you figure it out, patent and copyright it.

For me, in my situation of learning to trust my man was like this Alcoholics Anonymous saying: Fake it 'til you make it. You could pretend you trust your hubby; give him a chance to convince you he is trustworthy.