(((Purple))),
OMG, we are so parellel right now, I could be saying the same things myself that you are saying in your last two ranting posts.

Since my dad got sick and went into the hospital and I went to visit him and saw my sister (I have big problems with her) I am seeing the disfuction and it is making me ILL. And I am the same way, I don't want these flashbacks and emotional memories taking me over like they are. Yes, it is embarassing and I hate it myself.

I AM trying to see all around this disfunction and I KNOW there were things my mother didn't see either. I don't blame her, I know she struggled back when I was little and I was left to fend for myself with my siblings who both abused me. Yes, I thought I made peace with that but I guess not because I am experiencing these flashbacks and days of feeling disfunctional that NO ONE SEEMS TO GET.

Ok, ok, deep breaths, calm down, me too. I have T tomarrow, see what he says that can help me. I get pissed, I wish I could just BUTCH UP OR SOMETHING. Ok, so there is something I am not seeing yet somehow. I am willing to accept that, so I will hang back a bit and give it some time so I can work through this. There is an answer but I am just not seeing it yet myself. Just know that I hear you, and me too.

(((Hugs and I hear you's))))
Open Eyes