People do not know how to give support; see research of Brant Burleson and his grad students.

Many of the things that we commonly say minimize and trivialize -- and not just for people coping with emotional issues. For example, "You shouldn't feel that way."

Everyone has a right to his or her feelings. We don't have a right to act out on them by injuring others.

People set time limits on how long it takes to recover from a loss -- or depression. "Snap out of it. C'mon, let's go shoot some pool."

Sometimes, we get hit by someone else's emotional issues when we are on the run. Ask the person if you can get together; follow up. Don't rely on the person calling you; hurting people don't.

The kindest support can be just to listen and ask people describe their feelings -- not ramble on about the situation that evoked them. Listening is a way of affirming that the feelings are real and it's okay to feel them.

I do my best to cover some of these points in my interpersonal communication units.

Terrific question.