I can't imagine how you must feel right now. I imagine the whole world is crumbling right out from underneath your feet. Your father's attitude toward this is inexcusable, but you can't allow that to be what you base your worth to society on. Have you seriously considered the offer your mother made? I know I've had to rely on my mother in the past; because, she would help me when nobody else would. My father, even though he was also bipolar before he died, refused to admit there was anything wrong with me or himself. But I imagine that was just his way of dealing with it. You know, ignore it and it will go away. You have my sympathies.