I dont want to reinforce anyone else's negative thinking but we all know how unfair this whole thing is. I am sure some of you will read what I think is unfair and feel like your situation is 100x worse, and you are probably right but hey I have my own story.

I was on Zoloft for 3 years and my anxiety was fine on it. Life had its up and downs but they were natural ups and downs and everyday was new and filled with different feelings. It was life. Then last year I felt good enough to get off Zoloft, and of course things cant just slowly hint to me that maybe zoloft was good. Instead a massive depression and anxiety hits me for 2 months, and for 6 months now its lingering effects have been the ONLY focus of my life. Every damn day is about trying to not be depressed/anxious. I am graduating college after this semester, but even that is secondary in my head to my mental health. What's even more obnoxious is the fact that I know medicine can help but it takes months to try one that might not work. I spend 4 weeks on 10mg Lexapro and see slight improvement, and now 2 weeks on 20mg and no better. Okay im not in a majorly depressed, but my life is constant ups and downs of an unnatural kind. I see my psych in 15 days and even if that meeting leads to a med change, great another 4-6 week trial that MIGHT work. Another month of my life possibly wasted feeling crappy. I should be stressed about life after college, finding my career path, maybe even trying to form intimate relationships, but no I have to spend every day rating and chronicling my mental health. Its just not fair. "We all have problems" is 100% true, but people without depression/anxiety have problems relative to their situations, not a baseline of misery that they spend most of their energy trying to resist with only minor results. My therapist is great, but I can't understand why she believes that I make the choice to spend all day at least partially considering my mental health. She herself admits people with depression are the same as diabetic patients, they cant just ignore their symptoms/feelings and expect it to go away. They need to acknowledge it and take action. Well I cant give myself a shot of insulin or get my blood sugar level with a meal, I am stuck with this stupid illness for a minimum of 4 weeks after finding the right treatment which can take years to find. Awesome. So unfair.

I want to add lastly that all of you who have suffered abuse/trauma and have these disorders, I hope I dont offend you. I am a 22 year old white boy from middle class with no family trauma or abuse who developed Major Depressive Disorder and GAD during uneventful times of my life. You all came about these problems honestly, you deserve sympathy and help for persevering through your experiences. While I am a scumbag who cant help but be depressed/anxious and have no justification for it. So I take up psychiatrists/therapist/meds that people like you have EARNED, and I then post on forums with people who are bravely living through real trauma and problems and feel I have the right to complain. Like I said, im a scumbag. Suicide isn't an option of course, but if a meteor crashed into my room tonight killing me and only me, it would be deserved and welcomed.