went to t. and it was really a good thing. she tried to help me enough to keep waiting for wait list call. as no new appointment was made. she talked about the poem. and about putting the stuff in a locked chest. and letting it sink to the bottom of the ocean. and locking a part of myself in with it. and how i could have the other part of me be able to come to the surface. and breathing. i was literally having trouble breathing in session. and she asked if i could add to the poem about finding hope. i wrote this:

drowning fast: part 2

though deep within
a strength can be found
for a separation to be
from the plunging fall
so that only part of me
will sink down below
still locked in its grip
and take along with it
the things bad and dark
and hopelessness too
keeping all securely locked
and buried from sight
while lightening the weight
to allow some of me
to rise to the surface
free from the echoes
hidden down below
and able to breathe
and finally rest
on its calm surface