I hate to be irritable about this, but I really don't feel that your posts are contributing to any helpful conversations here, for anyone.

I don't know if you are posting merely for validation, but after we all keep saying the same things to you, and yet you still feel the need to post here, shouldn't that signal to you that outside validation from strangers isn't what you need?

Please seek the help of a therapist. Best of luck to you.