Thanks for taking the plunge and posting this!!

If you try to realize that this is wonderful learning material to be used in therapy, and that T may very well be quite pleased that you bring it up, it may make the shame easier to tolerate. It's still incredibly difficult.

I'd imagine that the lie came from your resistance to being totally honest....which is perfectly understandable - especially early in a relationship with T - because it's difficult to be so vulnerable. Being willing to explore the fears is a huge step in a valuable direction...