LMTL - Self acceptance is one of the things I am working on, yes.

You said >> None of these things makes you a bad person or deserving in any way of such a harsh label. Many people here, including me, could claim all three of those things as true for us, would you call us "filthy"?
None of you, of course not. But I cannot read your thoughts, your situations; on the other hand, I know mine, I'm in here. I find that it makes a big difference.

You also mentioned this >> you can re evaluate the presence of people in your life who *may* be keeping you from doing so.
no, that particular person is in the picture to stay. Part of the mess that T2 has taken on helping me clean up, poor woman, will include how to handle that. Thanks for caring enough to post, though.

BTW, T2 did write back. She said
a) I’m listening
b) In session, sometimes I am the voice that speaks the truth.
c) I know it’s hard.
This helps me a lot; in fact, she gave me exactly what I needed & the spiraling stopped. She is there, I am not alone; yes I am hurting but she knows it, and is holding up her end of the process none the less.. This is essential; if she were to back off and go easy, I would never be “done”. I’m not angry with her any more.

Still, I can’t believe this could be so hard. Thanks so much PC folks for yr support.