Hi all..

So today has been a good day! I started my volunteer job at the charity shop today and met some nice people I was somewhat awkward but they were very friendly and I seemed to fit right in. Today has also been a massive day for me. I got up at 6am, showered, had breakfas, coffee, did my make up and got dressed. All seems pretty normal for most but for me that was huge as I usually sit around in my pj's sometimes not even bothering to shower! After my triumphant get up, I also managed to get to the bus stop and take a bus into town all by myself!! I can't even remember the last time I did that. It wasn't easy, the whole time a little voice was in my head slamming my every effort but I kept at it and made it through the day!! I am back there on thursday and then put in a full week next week.

My weight gain is still a major issue...its eating me up inside I used to be a 12/14 which I was happy with but then with all these different meds I have had during the past couple of years, I have shot up to a 16/18 and it doens't seem to be stopping. I keep catching glimpses of myself in shop windows and mirrors and can't believe my reflection. I look horrible. Havn't had it in me recently to diet but am hoping I can build on todays success and start a diet tomorrow. It's so difficult, especially in a wrold that judges you by the way you look. The last thing I need to do is add to my paranoia.

But anyway, enough of that, I should concentrate on the good and today I really did do good