First of all....give this a read.

http://sourcesofinsight.com/10-disto...king-patterns/

I was in the same position less than a year ago. I had mroe support around me than I thought. I felt like I was the only person capable of holding everything together. When I finally realized that it would have to be treatment or my two sons would be very sad young men....even paying rent was a threat. I had to get help. I realized once my counsellor (outpatient services) taught me of the 10 thought distortion patterns, I found many of my worries amongst them. While I was feeling shame of putting "hardship" on others, they were happy to be able to help me, because I was their concern and it was rewarding to them to know they could somehow help. I am also learning about managing this unrealistic sense of guilt and shame I feel for not being perfect. I had to allow myself to be dependent on these people so that I would be able to regain my independence for a longer and better life span. The less others have to worry about me.....the less guilt I feel. Read this article and the first way to help yourself and others is to let them help you.