For those of you who have been following my saga with my T, and being so supportive and helpful, I wanted to give a bit of an update.

I saw T today and I could tell he kind of had an agenda. It scared me so I talked about something else for a while, but finally I was ready to talk about the hard stuff that's been going on lately.

Long story short, he TOLD ME some things I really needed to know and didn't know. And it was scary and a huge relief...huge...because I don't have to guess anymore. I *think* it was the biggest step we've take TOGETHER in a long long time.

What he told me brought up all kinds of other stuff, but at least now we can deal with what we're dealing with and not talk around it.

He didn't feel icky when we hugged at the end. He felt safe. I asked him during the hug about the difference between now and when I was little, and he put words around it for me that helped. He believes me, and we're going to figure this out together.

THAT is not like being little.

So, I left and didn't slam the door.

I've had way too many benzos, actually, because it's all pretty stressful and spirally and unravelling. But still better. A step closer to each other, for sure.