(((Purple))),

I think you are doing really well in staying firm with your boundaries. Your mother never learned how to do that and because of that you suffered in childhood and even now. Sometimes because we were abused we can pay more attention to the important things about our own children. One of the things I did was notice that my daughter, like all children had discovered herself. I made sure I talked about it with her and made it clear that what she discovered was HERS and not to be shared with ANYONE including OTHER CHILDREN. Many parents don't think to do this and that is how children get curious about other children and we end up troubled adults.

I can safely say that my own child was well protected in that area and I made sure that she really understood to make sure she never let other children or adults touch her, and you do have to cover family members as well. And you will have to be firm and making sure your mother is extremely conservative exposing herself with your daughter. My daughter saw my mother in law and she was upset for a long time hoping that she didn't get breasts like my mother in law had. Children are not ready for that when they are young to be honest.

Yes, boundaries, I am working on that myself. When you work through therapy you are going to see more and more of the disfuction in your family. I see it in my family and the problem is that I have changed and grown and they havent. That is difficult to adjust to. That is one of my very difficult areas regarding my sister. I talked with my T today in therapy and he mentioned that is what I am seeing and I now KNOW more about NOT allowing them to cross MY BOUNDARIES. The problem is that my sister is expecting me to fold like I used to (because I was just always so nice) and now that I DON'T FOLD, she gets really ANGRY with me.

As far as your therapist and your trust in him? My therapist talks about his other patients as well, but I don't ever get to know their names etc. And my therapist HAS talked about people who have DID and how they CAN slowly grow into one person or only two. I just happened to ask about that one day as I had met others here with that and wondered about it. Actually, I can picture a patient getting high and if he tends to service people who can't go to him, maybe someone would ask him to go for a burger. Hey, people are charectors, nothing surprises me anymore to be honest. It could be that he sees that you are intelligent and he engages that. My therapist does that with me and I like it because I don't feel like I am some lowly crazy or something, I am right there with HIM working on my recovery. I don't want my therapist to treat me like a child to be honest, I find that disrespectful, my therapist always is kind and respectful and we talk and he never puts me down, he talks me through it all in a way of emphasizing that I am smart enough to get through the difficult areas. And yet he DOES know that when some of my flashbacks come, I am that child being hurt as well. He has made that clear to my husband so that my husband is kind and caring and gives me time to work through that without thinking I am being childish somehow.

However, Purple, it is important that whenever you get triggered or something your T does effects your sense of safety with him, you should make sure you discuss it. I had a few struggles with my own therapist who was overbooking and that really bothered me, he doesn't do that anymore and just being able to discuss with him that it upset me and having him respect that "boundary" was important.

The other thing that is always in the back of my mind with my T is that while he has treated other patients, he learns something from each patient and if I share, he learns and the more HE knows, the better he can help others like me. I work really hard on my recovery, my T knows that and respects that. We are WORKING TOGETHER AS A TEAM NOW and that took a little time.

Just remember Purple, YOU WILL OUT GROW YOUR DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. And that is ok. You are the one that is getting help.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes