Thanks, googley....I do feel like such a failure. This isn't the first time that this has happened in T, but I don't recall ever having such an incredibly difficult time finding my way back.

T said something along the lines of if I don't trust him to help guide me, then I'm going to drift away...and the thing is, I DO trust T...but it feels so out of my control. Even going outside and talking didn't help until we physically walked through the rain to his garden.

I sent T an email....which I know he prefers that I not do....letting him know that I am scared he's not going to want to work with me anymore - considering how he's been pushing me to do the synergy stuff and with what happened today.

Just feeling like a complete failure at the moment. I know I'm being hard on myself....Just not feeling good about it...not at all.