I understand what you are saying. I agree with you. It is hard to accept that I have a problem such as this, but I think part of that is that society seems to have no place for me. I just received word that a possible volunteer position with an international education organization might be interested in letting me help. Believe it or not, I can't even convince anyone to let me help them for free. It has been an uphill battle for 20 years trying to find out where I fit in. But I think I'm discovering that the key is to focus more on others and less on me. If I put others first, I'm to busy to focus on my problems. I learned a long time ago that I can't deny that I have such an illness. Playing games with it like that only make it worse.