Quote:
Originally Posted by jkristana
i've posted mainly in the survivors of abuse page but my depression has just been at its worst lately. i just want everything to end. i long for that emotional numbness where it doesn't matter what people do to me i just won't feel anything. these suicidal thoughts keep coming into my head and sometimes i'm sure i'll do it. it doesn't matter after all because i wasn't going to achieve anything anyways and it's not like anybody loved me. really, i have had people tell me that there are people who love me but i know that's not true. either they hate me or they don't care at all.
it's a cycle...something bad happens at home, i feel depressed, i can't focus on schoolwork and i get bad grades, depressed about grades and feeling worthless, then something bad happens at home again.
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I understand how you feel, wanting the pain to end. I understand feeling lost & alone. You think suicide might be the answer--you know it will remove you from this world & thus remove you from its pain. True.
But it will also remove you from all that life has to offer you. The sunlight, the rain, a smile from a friend. There has to be good things in your life that you enjoy. Find that seed of joy, whatever it is as good as it is good for you, & hang on to it with everything you have.
If you believe in God or a Higher Power, pray. Ask for help!
If you are really feeling like you can't take it anymore, then go to an emergency room & tell them there what is going on. They can get you the help you need & get you into a safe situation.
We all need to try & hang on. We are here for you.
