(((Switch)))

I haven't seen you in a long time!

It's great to hear that you felt confident in your decision to go inpatient for help.

"I'm scared I'm not suppose to be here. I'm scared that secretly I'm faking everything. I'm scared I'm not going to get anything out of this because it's been so long since the bulk of my breakdown."

I think that it isn't uncommon to go through times when we kind of feel comfortable in a psych ward ~ I've had that emotion a couple of times in my last hospitalization. (I can't recall whether or not I had it in previous times.) That comfort didn't mean that I didn't belong in the hospital, I think that it feels a little safe right now. Talking with a couple of the other patients was very relieving to me. We could relate to one another, and it helped me feel a lot better in that moment. It didn't mean that I could communicate with anyone without a problem, I learned that very quickly! And the highly stressful experiences reassured me that I was in the long-term patient care for a good reason. I needed to build some skills to help me make it through my tough times, to decrease my need for future hospitalizations.

Does that make sense to you? Try not to worry that you're wrong to be in the hospital now. If it IS wrong, you'll go home sooner. So, you've got nothing to lose.

Regarding the relationship with your ex-bf/best friend, it's tough to say what your true feelings are. I think that you need to be in a more clear state of mind to make decisions about how you really feel towards him. Perhaps you miss his friendship, him being there to listen to you & not necessarily feel romantic attraction. I don't know. It can't hurt to keep that break-up clear at least until after you get out of the hospital.

Best wishes to you! I hope that everything continues to work well for you in the hospital.