Heyas Cherry,

I applaud that you enjoy writing. You provide a lot of details and you enjoy sharing which is a good quality.

I am sorry to hear about what happened with Aaron. It seems you became rather harsh with him over time. I understand, however, that you have struggled with some serious issues of your own. It seems you didn't understand how abusive your behavior might have been towards him at the time. It's a shame that you had such a skeptical view of relationships too. It's true that relationships have their ups and downs and sometimes we get hurt. A healthy relationship tho is not based on intentionally hurting each other as I am sure you have learned by now.

I'm glad that you are excited to be in contact with Gordon again. He sounds like a fun guy. You made some good memories together during a tough time for both of you. I especially like the part about discovering the yumminess of cookies and ice cream together, hehe.

If I were to offer some advice... for the present time it might be more advantageous for you to concentrate on yourself. It sounds like you could use more self-esteem and finding some peace with yourself in your life at the moment. You are still quite young and have a lot of life ahead of you and there will be plenty of time for relationships as you get older. From your previous posts I get the impression there are still quite a few things you are struggling with but you are making good improvements (like your dieting issues). I think some of the anxiousness you are experiencing in your relationships relates back to the anxiousness you have with yourself. If that bleeds over into a dating relationship it can complicate things which can lead to difficulties and heartache. And you probably don't need that right now.

Again, I think it is fantastic that you are opening up here and sharing. That is a really positive and courageous thing to do. Thank you for sharing your life experiences thus far. I look forward to hearing more about your journey and how you continue to improve as you move forward.