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Jun 13, 2012, 04:22 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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I'm sorry about what has happened. But can YOU understand what position you put him in? It's not ALL about lying. It's about his credit rating, it's about is monthly bill trying to pay back the $10,000, and how LONG that's going to take.  Are you thinking of that? You didn't mention any of that. 
And yes, the lying of course is going to be of concern to him. It will take some time for him to be able to trust you again. If you two DID get back together, he would be questioning you constantly about your actions and spending. I doubt you'd like that much, but you couldn't blame him after what has happened. Regardless if it happened when you were depressed or not, you weren't INSANE -- you knew what you were doing and you knew it was wrong.
If you're not in counseling now, it would be a good time to talk to a counselor.  When I got into a "bad place" like you are, I always went back to my therapist who worked with me to get me out of that dark tunnel. Are you on medications I hope? Are you taking them like you should? I hope so. 
Get into therapy. Believe me, it will help you see things more clearly, and help you know the next right thing to do. Plus maybe you won't keep going into these depressions if you get some issues dealt with.
I wish you the very best. I know you're having a tough time right now. Please take care of yourself & keep posting too. We'll be here. God bless & hope to hear more from you. Hugs, Lee
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