> I'm sorry special k, I lashed out and posted bad things. I lost it a little.

It's okay. I've been known to do that myself...
For next time...
Even for this time...
(Apparantly)
;-)
It can be helpful to phrase things in terms of how you feel.
So...
When you say xxx I feel.
Kind of like when you said xxx I felt bad about myself.
Or when you said xxx I thought you were trying to make me feel bad and so I felt mad with you
That kind of thing...
When you said xxx I thought I must be a bad person.
And then we can try and talk it through.
It is hard.
It's a skill...
One that goes out the window for me when I'm upset
Sigh
But I'm working on it.

> I really truly didn't know that my talking about loving Bob triggered abuse stuff for people. I'll try really hard to cut down on my bob posts.

Yeah. I find it triggers me. I suppose I shouldn't really speak for others. But maybe it makes sense of why people tend to jump to the notion that there is something sexual. Maybe it makes sense of why people tend to jump to the notion that there is something unhealthy / obsessive. Why people jump to the notion that it isn't so good... Because people are concerned about you (little them) and worry that you are giving him too much power... Worry a little about whether he will use that power for good or for harm... For people who have been harmed... I guess they aren't so trusting with that.

> I'll try to not idealize him. I'll try because i see now that I've hurt people as a result of my idealization.

It isn't just about other people. It is about you as well.
Because...
I hate to go here...
But what if you do get blocked for something you don't understand?
Thus far... You have come to understand your blocks.
But what if you do get blocked for something you don't understand?
Something that the community doesn't understand either.
Then how are you going to feel?

The way you currently focus on the good qualities...
It can be helpful to focus on the good qualities
It can be a nice thing to let people know that you appreciate them.
It can be PARTICULARLY helpful to focus on the good qualities when you start to feel upset or disillusioned with the person.
Sometimes it can be helpful to think about the negative qualities too.
Nobody is perfect and everybody has faults, human imperfections, things they can work on to be better.
Thinking about those things can help moderate the idealisation to keep it in check.
Just about balance.
If you have a balanced idea
Then you are less likely to swing to the negative (painful)
extreme.

> I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive of you when you brought up the inconsistencies.

You were supportive to me. But then you seemed to put them out of your mind and focus solely on the good qualities so you could retain the ideal.

> I'm sorry I posted about my experiences on the trip in detail. I thought people wanted to know the details. I wanted to include people by telling them all exactly what happened.

Yeah. A lot of people like that. Some find it hard, but some want to know everything that happened. I think it is fine to do that. Sometimes... People don't get what they want and they need to work on managing their own emotional responses. It was nice to hear about it. It does help people to feel more included.

But every day... To hear references to it every day...

And Bob love too...

It is nice to appreciate people
To let them know you care

But I think it is about having a more realistic idea of them.

I also think... While real life relationships can be hard...
Boards are most helpful when we generalise back
Rather when we use them to escape / avoid RL interactions.

Don't let bob love blind you to people IRL
To potential relationships and friends IRL
And to potential relationships and friends on boards too.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

I guess I'm pretty self absorbed at the moment...