i have lost count of the days or weeks that i have been feeling the low of bipolar depression and i can't escape the intrusive thoughts of wanting to S/H. feeling really desperate today and on my brother's 50 th birthday as well. will just have to put on the old ' i'm fine face' and get on with it. have got CPN ( community psychi nurse) due to visit this P.M. but it is hours away and i don't know how to keep going. So Empty inside..... but can't cry.. don't even want to. just want to stop (everything?) . anyone out there who understands?....pls talk to me....