Your description of the distance thing reminded me of my size thing My T was oriental and much smaller than I am, plus I'm obese so it was literal size, not just height and build. But sometimes I felt much larger than she more than at other times. Sometimes it was like she was smaller, too (rather than that I was larger).

I think when we're anxious and less sure of ourselves we really crave to know someone else (T) is obviously not anxious. Your anxiety generates movement so you "were" movement and wanting something that was not movement. Thinking of your description like I would a dream, I am reminded of rattlesnakes and their tail/rattle movement and sound as a warning before they strike. I'm also reminded of the "stillness before a storm" idiom?