just woke up and struggling.
i slept all i could. %#@&#! this.....
i unno just realy srtuggling.
i am angry, soo much anger.
i am sad, soo sad.
i am tierd, i just woke.
my body is in pain,
i am lonely, (think i would be used to it now)
i am Melancholia, dont even wanna write this.
i am despondent, there is no end is there....
"i am numb", (just heard this on t.v. in the background , the response was "dont be numb your a person u got to feel") haha....i dont want to feel!!!
i am not as good as my brothers, yes they are better then me and they let me know.
i am looked down upon by everyone, this is why i hide.
no its not only in my mind!
i am frustrated, i cant find a way out.
i am alot of emotions i cant identify.
how did i get this way. its my fault isent it,
i did this to myself? i wanted this? i saw it coming....
i dident think it would go this far.
i dont wanna do this anymore.
i dont wanna wake. let me sleep. i wanna sleep for a long long time, to sleep forever would be a blessing.
no mind altering substances today. this is what i hide from. i can be sober i dont wanna. been sober for months before. and it was hell.
i am weak. i once belived i was strong. i have proven i am weak.
holding back on this post. cant explain how i am feeling. besides all thiese feelings are 10s on a scale 1-10.
-telb