Thanks guys. I know it's not absolutely everything that's been going on with me, but I think it's enough to show that I am struggling. Yes, I want a positive change, I want things to be normal again, I want to be happy, truly happy.
I don't want to be put on medications if I can avoid it. I know that probably would make things harder for me for recovery, but I don't want to have to rely on drugs to feel better, plus it'd be another cost I'd probably be unable to afford. My family has no idea about any of the trauma I've gone through, and I don't feel ready to tell them either. I'm going to look into the counselors at my school first, as I believe that's covered under the health fees that we all pay. The less I have to worry about money, the better. Being a college student, money's tight. Plus, my mother has access to my account to help me monitor it in case something weird happens or for any transfers that are needed between our accounts. So she'd notice if I started paying for therapy sessions or medicine, and that would raise some questions, which I don't want. I have had the thought of counseling in my mind for a little while now, I'm just afraid of what to expect.
Thanks again for your support, means a lot to me.