Thanks, adel34.....

I am working on trying not to be so hard on myself. It's difficult, though...

My T has told me that he believes that our relationship - the comfort and trust that we've built up - is working against us....which is why he wanted me to try the synergy method. That stirs up all sorts of feelings of fear and abandonment.

I know he cares. I know he's trying to do what's best for me, so that I am not struggling so much and in so much pain....He wants me to be motivated to work harder...but it seems to be turning into sheer pressure to push too far too fast.

I need to find some balance between "leaning into the discomfort" and "falling off the deep end".....

I've been keeping busy today with work and family....thankfully....but each free moment that I have brings me back to THIS and that yucky sinking feeling....