welcome liv,
a lot of your post sounded like it was coming from my mouth. I have been wearing long sleeved shirts year round for a decade now, but have relented a little as more and more scars have 'appeared'... some past my wrist and onto my hand. I have scars all over my body:- covering my left arm, wrist and hand; my right arm and hand; my stomach, my left upper thigh; and my ankle. It takes a lot of time money and effort to cover all these spots up- the cost of clothing esp. I disovered 2 wks ago that short socks do not hide the ankle scars... getting medical treatment and needing to have your stomach 'pummelled' does not hide the stomach scars... and the scars on my hands and wrists just cannot be hidden.
I think that trying to tell anyone about the scars is near-impossible... it is such a huge thing to get your head around and I know for myself I find it scary, and if I could I would run away before the explanation rather than have to try and make some sense of the truth. Ppl who have no links to SI generally have no ability to even try to understand this disorder. This is a subject that my ex and I fought over almost continuously and he used to get so angry if i SIed at all- he couldn't even begin to understand (not that I can either) any of the thought proccesses or anything to do with this- why I just 'didn't SI' etc.
(sorry, ramble ramble ramble!!)
Have you ever tried wheatgerm oil for the scars, or similar? I was given some and while I did not see an improvement way back then I now barely see the scars I used it on. I got it from the body shop (in nz, don't know if in US, know very little about shop lol).
Sorry I have rambled on so much, but I wish you all the best and just mainly wanted to let you know I have similar thoughts to yours around this topic...
(((((liv)))))