Thanks, WePow. Yes, it's hard. I've been seeing my T for 2 years now. Part of me feels ashamed, like she just "found me out", as though I've been taking advantage of her all this time. She didn't want to treat me as a diagnosis (BPD). She let me get "taken care of by her". I'm not sure she knew the extent of my problem though I kept telling her about my pattern. She said she knew. I feel like I cheated, but the part couldn't help it!!! My T believes me when I tell her that. My former T believed me too. I'm sorry if some of you don't believe me, and don't understand how much it hurts to have to give up my dreams. My T understands when I tell her "you shattered my dreams."