Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_tsol
Thank you everyone for replying. I feel dizzy and nauseous just thinking about telling her. But I think I have to because it's been weighing on me for months. But I want to cry just thinking about it. I feel like a bad person for lying even if she does know the truth. It really was a silly lie. Like saying "holding this ice cube doesn't feel cold". I just hate that I created this conundrum
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I don't see it as a lie at all but rather as self-protection. There are PLENTY of reasons to not admit to SI / thoughts. Especially to a trained professional that is sitting 3 feet away.
Since it has been bothering you so much, perhaps you can broach the subject in a way that it's comfortable for you...baby steps. You'll probably end up blurting it out, feeling embarrassed and then your T will surprise you with a (great) response
You are NOT a bad person, btw. But I know what you mean. You have a good heart. We all have rough go's of it at times.
(A few years back, I got pulled over for an late tag on my car. I burst out into tears when the cop talked to me. I told him I felt like a bad citizen ... he tried not to laugh and he consoled me and gave me a fix it ticket. he said "we all go through rough patches ... this is just a fix it ticket. get it done as soon as you can"
)