|
I've dealt with this before and am on the other end of the spectrum now. But I would never "hound" my fiance over it. My ex, and he's my ex for very good cause, was a jerk about my past. And considering it isn't that bad, although I do regret many things, would always make me feel HORRIBLE about it. I was constantly a "*****" when to this day I can count the ammount of people on one hand. And could even count the ammount of people I've kissed under 10. But he was a jerk about everything, even guys that I had absolutely nothing physical with.
My fiance, his past gets to me from time to time. But I would never dream of making him feel guilty over it. And it only gets to me because we live in a very small town. Each one of his ex's we seem to have run into. Not to mention he did, in his past, have a substance abuse problem, very similar to my fathers. The only reason that I get upset, is because of my own insecurities and I know this. I feel insecure and it kind of makes my stomache turn running into these gorgeous girls. It makes me sick thinking about any woman with him, before or during me. But I trust him so I never allow these issues to carry into the relationship.
If your boyfriend is anything like me, or my ex, it's because he's insecure. He doesn't think he measures up and or he really can't get over the image of you being with anyone else. You can't really fix this. I trust my fiance 110% and he has for the last 2.5 years non stop said nothing but wonderful things to me to help build my confidence. But my confidence is MY confidence, something I have to fix, that no one else can fix.
There's not much advice I can give you, but know it's him he's got the problem with although he makes it out to be you. I wouldn't necessarily say to leave him because he's jealous over your past, but when he makes that jealousy turn hateful and makes you feel like a lesser person, perhaps reevaluating your relationship is a good thing. Or maybe being fully honest on how distructive his behaviour is. You can't build his confidence, that's for him to do.
I hope you've found some sort of peace in this, I know it can be horrible feeling like you're a bad person because your boyfriend says/thinks you are. But you didn't know him when you were doing these things, so you should have no reason to feel bad and he should have no reason to make you feel bad.
__________________
I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
|