|
I got engaged to such an incredibly charming, kind and understanding man. Never would have thought I'd see the day!!! But...
First, my brother moved back just one short month after the engagement. His return to our home town put me in a HORRIBLE mental state, sent me back to therapy. Over the years though I've been trying to get past it, ignore the past and stay on good terms with him. Now I'm trying to cut it to as little contact as possible.
With the new t and the new spark of problems, I've been noticing more and more about the dysfunction in my family. I've stopped blaming myself and stopped making excuses for them. I've also realized that so much of what I went through was a direct result of my family. Could have been avoided had they put me first. My family is much worse than I would ever allow myself to see. But now I'm starting to see and now I'm getting very angry.
So the problem is, inviting people. I don't know who to cut, who to invite and how to tell them they are not invited. My guest list, if I cut out all of these dysfunctional people will be below 20, when originally it was at 65. His family, about 60. So my side will be bare if I cut them all out. Should I? Or should I suck it up for a day to invite the family? It's not like they all directly abused me, but they did turn away when it was happening, they did put me in positions for it to happen, they did allow and influence a lot of the pain I have suffered over the years. I just don't know what to do. I've been fighting for years to somehow manage to keep a relationship with the closest family (by blood) if I go through with not inviting them, it will ruin it all. But it seems like they were the ones, when I was a child to soil the relationship. But it doesn't stop the guilt if I don't invite them. But the return of the brother, and a seizure as a result, that on my wedding day would NOT be good... I just don't know....
Advice? Anything?
__________________
I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
|