I definitely know what you are talking about. I have been trying to just notice my emotions and experience them, whatever they are. I have noticed at times, I am resistant to truly allowing myself to feel happy, partially due to many of the reasons you described. On the flip side though, sometimes depression can occur even when things seem to be going well due to other factors. I'm not sure if that was any help, but I definitely have felt they way you described. take care.