I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better unfortunately cause i feel the same as you do. You are not alone if that helps any. It probably doesn't. All you can do i guess is try to distract yourself from thinking. Reading, watching tv, having a hobby. i don't know if that helps but in order for me to stay somewhat sane i have to distract myself and basically i watch tv all the time. it may not be a good thing to do but it has saved me from being destructive. Maybe going to a group would help you. I myself don't like them. I see my T once a week and live for that one hour a day once a week where i can vent and someone will listen and act like they care.