At times the pain I am in really just gets to be very overwhelming...not only is the psychological pain hard to deal with but the physical pain some of it causes doesn't help. For instance being tense and on edge all the time kind of makes me sore and exausted feeling which in turn feeds my depression...so then I just feel I am being hit with an avalanche of misery and depression. I mean I am trying very hard to just keep going......even if nothing more than for the sake of trying to keep going but I have to wonder if it's really worth all the pain and misery. Not to mention I feel like since I pretty much fail at life all I can possibly do is bring people down or burden them. Anyways I kinda had to get this out I guess was sick of dwelling on it without outwardly expressing any of it.