It wasn't a wedding, but it was my mother's funeral. I had gone through a horrible trauma with the home care person who was the neighbor & good friend of my mother's boyfriend & his daughter (from my mother's church). The pastor of my mother's church I had issues with also because of the abuse & things that this home care person was doing (in only 5 days). When my mother died, I was in the hospital dealing with anorexia that all the stress & trauma had major contributed to.....& the pastor called to talk to me about doing my mother's funeral.....I wasn't about to have him be any part of the funeral.....I had decided that it was grave side & no one other than close family & close friends were to even know when or where. Told the pastor if he wanted to do a memorial service, that was his business but I was in the hospital & wouldn't attend.....but the funeral was going to be done by my pastor & was not open to anyone other than close family & definitely NOT the BF. I wasn't about to take any chances to have anyone show up that was going to cause me any more stress than I was dealing with anyway......the police & APS were involved with the situation.

My daughter was angry with me because I didn't have the same huge funeral that we had for my dad (her grandpa). Trying to explain all the trauma that had just happened wasn't easy & why I couldn't allow the same for my mom that we had for my dad was not easy for her to accept.....but she did & life went on after it was all over & my daughter didn't hold it against me even though she really wasn't quite able to understand the horrible stuff that had happened that kept me from being able to have the funeral in any different way.

My point is that, your wedding is to make a statement before God of your love for each other. Those attending should be ones who support you & who will provide further support in your life. It's not some kind of show like weddings have seem to become. It's more important to be surrounded by those who really care than those who will cause issues or create an uncomfortable feeling for you.

It's your wedding day & you need to look out for yourself & your own well being during that time....it doesn't matter what others think. You have to do what is best for you & your feelings.