So there's a work colleague that has lots of issues and I always find myself feeling unable to be how I want too be in her presence. Today she was doing her normal stuff, moaning about this person and that person and normally I feel unable? Scared? To not get involved, too not have to give her any reaction. Normally I say things like "oh dear" or tutting as if in a agreement with her WHEN I just don't want too agree with her, intact she is a racist bigot, just-like-my-mother. And I hate, hate not being able to stand up too her ignorance

Well this morning she was moaning again and I didn't say or do anything. I waited for her to finish and talked about something completely different when she finished her rant. When I walked away I felt I had honoured my values and didn't feel that normal feeling of having been swamped by her neurosis.

This is who I want too be. This is who I always have been but it was in hiding because of my mothers over powering ignorance and cruelty. Too survive I couldn't stand up for myself, my values I had to partake in my mothers "madness". I felt the same with this colleague and today I realised what lesson I was meant too learn from her.

These are the things I want from working in therapy these effect my daily living, my happiness.