I think unfortunately it's that many people don't know how to cope with emotional pain in THEMSELVES so this gets transferred onto others. People are afraid of pain and things they don't understand or know how to cope with. I have a disability and I notice people behaving badly towards me sometimes. They don't actually know me but they see my crutches and judge me because they are afraid of the unknown. Sadly I think the same is true for emotional pain that relates to abuse. People can't reach into themselves for a compassionate response because they can't always deal with the reality of abuse.