I'm not BPD but was thought to be. I was always treated like crap by healthcare, if I was suffering I was ignored, if I was in danger I was ignored. I know why too. I actually took psych classes at uni before I was myself a patient. I was taught how to treat people with BPD. Some things taught were to always treat them strict, never show emotions, never acknowledge their pain, because they don't feel real pain as we know it, they will try to destroy you because it is within their nature. The only thing that helps is treating them like criminals and give them no choices and never slip up and treat them as if they are human.

I'm not sure what is taught today. This was 1992. But the rules were clear. And the distance was the most important, never "reward" the BPD'er with attention, EVER. Never show caring. EVER. I remember I was a little puzzled about that attitude. But I was more than puzzled when me, myself became a BPD patient and I got this treatment. It didn't help I knew what was coming. After a few years I was a broken soul. I still am. I never recovered mentally from their treatment.

I wanted help for my depression. I described how bad it was, how I couldn't think or function, I described the thoughts I had. I was told I'm NOT depressed, and we will NOT discuss depression or thoughts. Because then I would get worse. We will ONLY discuss how I should stop being stupid, lazy and evil basically. How I was undeserving. How I should pull myself together. Those exact words weren't used, but it was what doc meant....

I guess I fed into her belief of attention seeking bringing up depression a lot, because it was so severe I needed help for it and I needed it NOW. But all I got was I should stop saying those things. And when I told about my thoughts she laughed in my face, saying she knew I was only faking. After three years of fighting, I got an antidepressant and my life changed.

A while after I was rediagnosed Asperger's and the diagnosis of BPD was dropped. The doc started treating me like I was HUMAN. No more emotional torture. If I needed a med, I got it. Damage still done. I still, after all those years, hate that doc and I wish something bad will happen to her. Something where no one will listen and she will feel like she isn't worthy and people will tell her to shut up and stop faking.

I hope things have changed, I hope no one is treated like this anymore. Sure I can understand how a doctor wants some distance and not be an enabler.... but I don't think it helps ANYONE to be treated like crap, on purpose, and be told they are less than human. I don't think I was damaged because I was treated for the wrong thing, I think I was because their method reminded of torture.