Don't worry about who gets cut and/or telling them anything; send invitations to who you want at YOUR wedding; doesn't matter about the other side; I had the zillions of people at my wedding and my husband had 3-4 relatives and 10 or so work friends/couples! Who cares, it's YOUR day!

If you have trouble with that; get married more "privately" and then have a friend or relative give you a big party later in the summer, after you get back from any honeymoon, etc. and invite "everyone" then when it isn't as meaningful to you?